It’s not me, it’s them. This is such a common thought process when we feel pain. It’s so easy to assign blame on another party when we are hurting or uncomfortable. They didn’t treat me properly, they hurt me, they are the reason I behaved the way I did. They made me feel this or that way.
Where are YOU not treating yourself right? Where are YOU hurting yourself with your thoughts, feelings, emotions, unresolved past or negative belief systems?
To blame is denial. A cowardly attempt to avoid the discomfort, we justify the pain. Much like self-medication to avoid feeling and moving out of comfort zones to grow. Assessing yourself and your areas of weakness is not comfortable. We must take responsibility for our own lives.
This is when we are urged to get real with ourselves. We must acknowledge that NOBODY can make us feel anything. It’s how we feel about ourselves. Most times we have unhealthy deep rooted belief systems that sabotage our happiness and then we blame others.
If we are to evolve and heal we have no alternative but to do an inventory and take responsibility for ourselves and our own reality.
If someone hurt you then that is an indication that something within you needs fixing, healing and it’s SCREAMING for your attention. Nobody can evoke feelings within us that we don’t feel about ourselves. Nobody can be held responsible for the pain we feel. It’s OUR pain. They may have triggered it yes, but that’s the very learning. If something is being triggered in you it means you have unresolved issues that need healing or you wouldn’t be triggered right?
We can save so many hardships and eliminate so much pain if we look at the situation with truth. If we own it and commit to work on it, we can overcome ANYTHING.
Ego is at play when we blame, The “poor me, so misunderstood” mentality of victim energy. Victims don’t win, they remain victims.
Become a VICTOR and fight your demons. Become a winner and work at overcoming your challenges and obstacles. OWN them. Blame is avoidance. This is the ONLY path to happiness because a victim can never be VICTOR.
You choose. Blame and shame or get honest and heal.