Today I decided to write about the perception of control versus what control actually is. Much of my work involves helping my clients to understand that their need to control is fruitless, and not only is it a futile attempt to achieve a certain outcome, but it is also a lack of trust, faith and certainty which is toxic for our emotional wellbeing.
The number one concept to understand is that we are NOT in control of ANYTHING outside of ourselves. Covid-19 has been a beautiful illustration of that. Our world and realities can be altered in an instant, and there is not a single thing we can do to change that.
The ONLY thing we are in control of is how we respond to our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and events that surround us. We do NOT have the power to change external events or manipulate how other people feel about or respond to us. There is NO exception to this rule.
Here’s the irony – the more we try to control, the more out of control we become. Think about a time when you so desperately wanted a particular outcome, or you so badly wanted that person to love you? You probably found that in your endeavour you became so focused on trying to achieve that, that your thoughts were intensified, your feelings were intensified, and your wellbeing was compromised. The emotional roller-coaster left you exhausted. The energy you invested left you defeated and worn out.
When we understand that everything that happens is for the growth of our Soul and surrender to the learning, we find peace. That is control. Responding with positivity. Responding with trust, faith and WILLINGNESS to look for the growth. That is control.
The next time you find yourself in a situation where you are trying to engineer a particular outcome, remind yourself that you are not the architect of anything or anyone outside of you. We are each our own architects. Instead of trying to orchestrate an outcome that is out of your control, orchestrate your own internal symphony. You’ll be amazed at how the song changes from melancholy to harmonious.
Choose wisely. Choose your response. Choose mastering real control. Become a MASTER of your MIND.